LYRICS to Worth Pursuing:
I saw you as a little girl and you were in this room, all alone
And you wanted to be found, but no one came and found you.
But this is your time now, this is your day
Cause that little girl inside of you is what makes my heart ache
You are my love, You're worth pursuing
You are my love, You're worth pursuing
I'm finding you right now, right now I am finding you.
And I'm taking you by the hand and I'm leading you out - into a new place
And forever that place that kept you in, forever that place that held you in
forever that place, forever that place will be shut off
And you're not going to have fear anymore
You're not going to fear being alone anymore
You're not going to fear because it's being swallowed up in my love for you, in my passion for you
I'm so taken by you
And I'm going to restore all your years
I'm going to restore every tear
You will know my joy, You will know my smile
You will know my dance, cause I am going to show you off
I'm so proud of you, and it's time for you to know it
You're so beautiful to me, You're so beautiful to me
"Hello, my name is Candi. I love God, people, and children." I remember you, though you disowned me long ago, and I am the one who has been contacting you on your Youtube videos. I will say it again, it’s never too late. Please be fair and hear me out.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I dropped my cross once and resorted to New Age sorcery and witchcraft. Like you, disability plagued me and cults took advantage of me. I never really loved Jesus Christ—I just professed Him with my mouth. I was a fool blinded by my intellect, stubbornness, and human wisdom. I allowed my misunderstanding of the bible to motivate me to haphazardly deconstruct the bible, condemning anything that wasn't logical and empirical. I was so logical that I lacked healthy rationality and skepticism. I allowed other people's opinions to rule my mind.
The doors I opened hurt my loved ones, corrupted impressionable minds, and almost killed me. I became so broken mentally and physically that I didn’t know what was happening, who I was, or what was going on most days. I couldn’t even provide basic care for myself. I agonized for years, struggling to not just end it all. I felt a knocking on my heart for years but I ignored it. I spread so much of my pain to others.
I believe I was on the verge of blaspheming the Holy Spirit until I broke down and opened up to that knocking on my heart. I repented with a heavy heart and cried out because Jesus was right. He does go after His stray sheep, even someone as wretched and miserable as I was. I hurt Jesus so badly with my prideful ignorance and I could feel it when I prayed to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The pain I felt from Him was far worse than the pain I felt seeing my mother cry.
The Holy Spirit urged me to do a water-only fast. I quit all of my medications—a stomach pill for my severely delayed gastroparesis, blood pressure medicine that also helps me with dysautonomia, my insulin, and many others, including antipsychotics and anxiety meds.
The second day was brutal and I could feel my flesh fight violently and possibly demons being released. I could not believe my vitals were normal for the entire 12 days, no matter how many times I checked them. I felt pretty miserable with a headache that fell somewhere between a migraine and a cluster headache. My cervical, thoracic, and lumbar radiculopathy acted up spectacularly, and I couldn’t hardly sleep.
I was healed of all mental illnesses, most extremely disabling. I was also healed of my allergies and I no longer take my stomach pill. The only things I had to go back on were my blood pressure medicine and insulin.
I have been taking my time to reach you because I feel the love of my heavenly Father in me. He wants you to come to just Him—no religiosity, people, cults—just Him and His Living Word. I want my sister in Christ back. I forgive you for unyoking me like you would a non-believer and I ask your forgiveness for the argument we had over saved by grace versus saved by grace with faith and work.
Candi, please just lay every pain and regret on Jesus, pray to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and be His daughter and my sister again. He forgave me, Paul/Saul, and many other wicked people, and He can and will forgive you too!